It has bothered me for sometime that Damsel in Distress (DID), Guy in Distress (GID) and Couple in Distress (CID) bondage gets lumped into BDSM as if it is some sort of subset of it. It isn't! Okay B is there for bondage, but by association we get lumped into everything else, which is wrong.
What does BDSM stand for? Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. But what most people think of when the term BDSM is used is the infliction of pain by someone on to someone else. This is fine when two or more consenting adults do it. And that is a major difference with DID (or whatever your flavor of "in Distress" bondage is). We just watch it. Unless you are a producer or rigger or model...we just watch. We don't participate. Other differences...most of us don't like real pain to be involved in DID scenes. That leaves out discipline also (except for the occasional spanking video). Dominance or Domination is important in DID scenes, but submission usually isn't. That is to say the damsels are usually Not submissive. They are dominated, forced into bondage. They don't submit (unless a weapon is involved).
So I contend that BDSM is not a good descriptor for DID bondage and should not be used...by DID lovers, at least. So what might be a good descriptor?
F - Fantasy...
I think that this is an important distinction between DID bondage and BDSM. We watch fantasy DID bondage scenes whether on TV shows or in bondage videos or read them in stories. Most of us would never wish a real DID situation on anyone.
B - Bondage...
Specifically, DID (or your flavor of "in Distress") bondage - duh!
D - Domination...
Yes, being tied up and gagged is part of being dominated, but DID scenes can have so much more. Chloroform scenes, handgag scenes, spanking scenes, tickling scenes and my favorite, forced intimacy scenes (Credit Captain Kidnap for the expression). The fact is that DID bondage is about sex, even if sex isn't part of the scene. It is a turn-on. So forced intimacy (my definition) can include topless or nude bondage, fondling, and even 'controlled' orgasms. [This is fantasy remember.] There is no submission, as such, because the damsels need not be submissive. In fact, many of us prefer that the women be strong women who are dominated.
E - Emotion...
There are two definitions for 'E'. [Hey, they used double definitions in BDSM!]. Emotion is important in DID bondage. I include not only facial expressions and gag talk, but also struggling as a displays of emotions.
E - Escape...
Escape, which includes rescue, is very important. I realize in some TV shows/movies escape does not happen. Those scenes usually are not considered good scenes. We want our damsels to escape or to be rescued after a period of captivity. We do not want real harm to come to them. Of course, if they escape, we hope they will be captured and tied up again...to be rescued in the end.
So, I give you FBDE...a proper way to express what DID bondage is all about.
Copyright 2015 Knotty Silk Scarf Productions
Listening to: silence
Watching: DID Bondage